The Manifesto: Inside the Mind of an Idiot...: My ongoing assault on the art community.

As I am sitting here writing at a Suburban Starbucks, I was hoping to evoke the spirit of the hipster artist for this rant on art that I am about to venture on… But, I must say, the ambiance of a Starbucks filled with suburbanite elitists may be more annoying than those filled with hipsters. That is another story for another time; I am here to write about the art community once again and their awful fraudulence. Why this time you may ask… Well after seeing a story on how some woman desecrated a Clyfford Still painting in Denver, I felt as it was an obligation to say something since she obviously hates art on or above my level.

To quote Colin Dabkowski of the Buffalo News “On Dec. 29, according to the Denver Post, an "apparently drunk" 36-year-old Denver woman dropped her pants in front of Still's mammoth painting "1957-J, No. 2" at the city's newly opened Clyfford Still Museum. She then reportedly punched the canvas, rubbed her posterior on it and finally urinated on herself.” (http://bit.ly/zRm0wu) Let’s face it, “rubbed her posterior” translates to: she wiped her ass on it. This particular painting is worth $30 million and she used it as toilet paper… That has to be the most expensive shit paper in history. Can we get the Guinness Book of World Records to make a ruling on that?

The portion of this act that sticks out to me the most is that No. 2 is a portion to the title… How ironic that she used that particular painting to wipe her ass with. Was this assault on the painting strategically targeted at this painting or was she just shitfaced, reached her breaking point with the awful art and happened to get lucky that a potential innuendo for shit could be found within said paintings title? Whatever the reasoning I applaud this assault on the art world. I’ve said it in earlier blogs, some paintings flat out look like shit, so the fact that someone wiped their ass with a painting could not have made me any more proud. I wonder if she happened to stumble onto and read any of my blogs trashing the art community. She pulled off an act that I would have loved to have done, but I realize that there are repercussions for illegal actions; therefore I would not do such acts of destruction. You just cannot cross certain lines... I’ll stick to verbal/written assaults.

Anyway, I was not familiar with the artist whose painting was attacked by this woman, so I decided to do a little research on his works. Low and behold, his paintings are exactly the type that gets my blood boiling. He was one of these abstract artists that created works where it appears that paint was just painted on the canvas randomly… I hate these works as they look like there is no artistic merit to them. While exploring details about Still, I see that there is one of the largest collection of his works right here in my hometown of Buffalo. Perfect, I can see these paintings first hand. I went to the Albright Knox Art Gallery’s website to see what his works that are housed here looked like and what do I find? I see something that looks remotely similar to a painting I know and love. Now, you realize I am going to have to visit the gallery and see this painting I am about to describe in person, right? Does anyone want to join me when I go? You might be amused by my commentary.

“Holy shit, that monstrosity resembles Piss on the Canvas!” That is the first thought that came to mind when seeing one of Still’s paintings that calls Buffalo home. Both paintings are displayed below, side by side. You make the call… Are the paintings that much different? One is a Clyfford Still (1951-L No. 2, 1951) and is worth Millions, and the other is my pride and joy (Piss on the Canvas) that is worth the cost of materials... There are such similarities that they are both mainly white with a yellow pattern... The colors are eerily similar. To take it further, I signed my name in red on my painting and he has a small somewhat out of place red blotch in similar placement to my signature. Mind you that I made my painting without any knowledge of this piece of shit’s existence and they somehow are remotely comparable. That fact makes it even more amusing to me.

The art community is such a pretentious group of frauds! If they believe that his work is a masterpiece, then why is my creation (Piss on the Canvas) not even remotely respected or known on the same level? Is it because that some fraud within the inner circles has not given me or my name any artistic merit? Most likely. I realize that I am not talented when it comes to art, but the difference is that I admit that fact, unlike “real” artists. I do not try to cover up my shortcomings with delusional rational. I make my works out of spite… To show the art world that they buy into bullshit and that anyone can come up with comparable pieces and really do not have to take art works as seriously as they do.

Several fashion magazines have tips on how to get "The look for less"… I'll do the same for you with art. Do you want a masterpiece? I'll make a comparable rendition of famous abstract art pieces for you for 10% of price of a masterpiece! Just think, you can have your own personal artwork made by an asshole. Prices are negotiable. If interested, leave a comment with your info, email me at Manifesto.Idiot@gmail.com or hit me up on Twitter @MKriegbaumJr! Seriously… If you want one, send me a message.