Suburbanites...

I went to a Starbucks today in an attempt to find some inspiration to write. People watching is something that usually can light a fire under my ass and inspire me for better or worse. This makes coffee shops a perfect place for me to observe the clientele because they harbor all different walks of life. Generally I hope to see hipsters, collegiate aged activists and yuppies when I venture to a coffee shop because the fodder they give me is second to none. Since I do not live in the city, I was in a suburban location and somewhat disappointed that the usual targets of my ire were far and few between… and then it came to me, suburbanites! I thought back upon the last time I wrote while in a Starbucks, it was a blog titled ‘My ongoing assault on the art community'. In that piece, I had written the line “I must say, the ambiance of a Starbucks filled with suburbanite elitists may be more annoying than those filled with hipsters. That is another story for another time.” Well, I think that time is now…

What I am about to say might piss off my Canadian readers, but who gives a shit… I get more page views from Russia and Germany than I do from my neighbors ten minutes to the north (That is embarrassing Canada!). Living in the Buffalo area, we get a lot of local foot traffic from Canadians. If you go to a mall here on a weekend, you might see as much as 50% of the cars in the parking lot with Canadian license plates. They’re everywhere and have this look to them that you can immediately identify that they’re Canadian upon seeing them. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is, you just know. That is exactly how I feel about suburbanites. They just have this cookie cutter look to them that is no different from one person to the next, they have no individuality and it drives me absolutely insane.

Everyone knows the stereotypical suburban dream of everyone wanting a house with the white picket fence, and the perfect family. Little do some of these people know that their perfect families may not be so perfect after all... many of their daughters are the biggest sluts in existence. But, what is it that makes middle aged suburbanites take this route in life? It is almost as if they are setting for the average set by others instead of making their own dreams a reality. Suburbanites have this appearance where they all shop in the same stores for their clothes and live in cookie cutter housing developments where the homes essentially look the same. Where is the originality and the personality amongst these people? No two people are the same, but why do they all look alike? These people lack the courage to have their own personality or look, which I find to be pathetic.

Is it the “Keeping up with the Jones’” mentality where everyone aspires to be on par with their peers? It is possible.  For example, you’ll see someone go out to mow their lawn moments after one of their neighbors break out the lawn mower. It is as if it is a competition between them… It’s hilarious!  Here is another possibility, is it that they fear they’ll be the talk of their peers for being somewhat different or unique? People should spend less time worrying about what society thinks of them and focus on being comfortable being themselves. Some may argue that they are comfortable adhering to average suburban life, which is fine if that’s who they are. But, as humans, we are all unique… Shouldn’t that uniqueness be displayed a little more instead of the mundane tribulations of everyday life in the suburbs? 

I’ve lived in the suburbs for the majority of my life, yet I have failed to conform to any these standardizations. Why is that? Because I am my own person, I do not want to be a sheep in the grand scheme of life amongst my peers. I like having my own personality, my own opinion and my own style… I would not be writing the blogs I do had I ever followed many of the social norms in suburban society. 

I’ve often mocked musicians, rock stars in particular, for thinking that being in a band gives them a license to dress like an asshole. Some do dress like complete idiots at times (Example: Jared Leto) and I question what exactly it is that they see while looking at their reflection in the mirror, but at least they have their fortitude to have their own sense of style. Whatever it is, it seems to work for them since their track record shows that they get a lot of ass. Rock stars have been known to cross the line in terms of behavior. I am in no way suggesting or encouraging suburbanites to cross any behavioral boundaries and start breaking laws in some sort of rebellion against these traditional social norms. What I am looking for is some personality to show in people’s appearance. People should show their individuality because we are different and unique individuals. 

Whether you are a Canadian, suburbanite or whatever, I really do not want to be able to identify what you are based on your looks alone. Society should dare to be different (without going to extremes) and not fear the whispers of their peers. Keep these words in the back of your mind when picking out an ourfit, what would an asshole do?