Don't be that fantasy sports guy...

Fantasy sports… I know it is more than just baseball, but today is technically MLB’s opening day with a regular season game being played overseas in Japan? After hearing some guys around the office today, all I can think of is a fantasy sports team owner being eager to see how their draft translates to fantasy league play and talking about their team to anyone who will listen. Don't get me wrong, I do not mind talking about people's fantasy team once in a while, I like talking sports, but, when it gets to the point of that is the only thing you talk about, I get extremely annoyed. At times it gets to the point of where I want to soak a washcloth in chloroform and place it over their mouth, hoping they pass out… unless they're going to cut me in on their winnings... In that case, I'll listen all day, if it's a substantial amount of cash.

Below is a quote I saw on Twitter today from Brandon McCarthy, a pitcher for the Oakland Athletics. It might be one of the best tweets I've seen in a long time because it takes direct aim at fantasy sports enthusiasts. This statement is blatantly tongue in cheek and essentially says "shut the fuck up" without coming out and actually uttering those words directly.

"Let's make a deal guys: I'll try my super duper hardest to play well, and in return you will never ever ever update me on your fantasy team.” 

  

Not only do these assholes annoy the general population with their fantasy sports obsession, they can annoy the athletes not only face to face, but online with their accessibility on Twitter. It is fantastic that you can interact with the athletes online, but some of these idiots take fantasy sports so seriously that they will essentially harass these poor bastards. Now, I get annoyed hearing people talk about their fantasy sports teams consistently, can you imagine what professional athletes have to deal with from these assholes that are obsessed with fantasy sports? I can imagine people saying things like "What the fuck (random player)? You went 0-4 today with 2 strikeouts? You suck!”, “I have you on my fantasy team, I need one fucking home-run from you to win my match-up!” and “What? You can’t play hurt? Tough it out, pussy!" because it seems as if these people take the player’s performance personal. For the most part, athletes take a shitty performance more to heart than you'll ever understand.

It's not like these athletes have a bad game just to spite someone's fantasy team, but it would be great if they did. I wonder if an athlete ever thought of tanking an at bat/play in meaningless game intentionally to fuck with the assholes that may have made a comment about him being on their team and not “pulling their weight”. The type of borderline psychotic behavior has to make them less willing to interact with fans because there is potential to hear about some asshole’s fantasy team?

How about the wives and girlfriends of these obsessed fantasy sports team owners? You know they are pissed off because their sex lives have to be suffering because these idiots are focused on the television and computers while they monitor their fantasy teams. You know that there is a serious issue when pretending to be a general manager of a fictional sports team takes precedence over getting laid. Guys, I hope you are not in denial about this statement, it happens, guaranteed… I bet there are some ladies who could back this up this theory if I took a poll. If you do not fuck your girl because your fantasy team has taken over your life, someone else will be more than willing to fuck her. You’ll have no one else to blame but yourself if and when that happens

I am not against fantasy sports all together. It is a chance to get together with the guys, have a few beers and talk a little shit. If your team sucks, oh well, shit happens, laugh it off and tool on yourself about how bad your team is. If you win your league, have fun with it, rub it in a little and buy a round of drinks for the guys. Fantasy sports can be fun if you do not take it too seriously. If you need one last reason of why fantasy sports should not become an obsession… . Remember, it's just a fucking game!