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Thursday, June 16, 2011
The Drunkest Weekend of my life... Part 1
(Note: 1.People and or organizations names may be altered to keep the identities of parties associated with this story confidential, 2. this is a condensed version, a full comprehensive version will be in the book, whenever I finish it. 3. I’m recalling this to the best of my memory, there is a video of this weekend. I’ve watched and laughed… I’ve gotten a good deal of detail from this video)
Well Tuesday June 21, Jimmy Buffett will be playing in the Pittsburg area. This is an event that I really take pleasure in going to each year, but I regret to inform everyone that I will not be attending this year’s concert. Fatherhood and actually having a career can get in the way of mid-week “drunkfests”. Yeah, I know growing into a “mature” adult can interfere with drunken debauchery from time to time. Anyway, I am a fan of Mr. Buffett and his island escapism experience, but let’s clarify one thing here… it’s not just about the music, it is quite possibly the best tailgating experience that you will ever have in your life! Nothing beats getting all hammered while you’re wearing a grass skirt and coconut boobies. The Buffett experience from 2005 when he played at PNC Park might go down as the drunkest weekend of my life…
So, Izzy and I take the short trip from Buffalo down to Pittsburgh a day before the concert, to get a little relaxation in so we are not feeling rushed to get down there and right to the tailgating. Thought we would get there, hang by the pool and have a few drinks. The rest of the party is coming down day of the event and will be meeting either at our tailgate camp or at the hotel prior to departure for the madness. Some of the crew that is meeting up with us is coming down in a limo sponsored by a local beverage distributer so there is no doubt in our minds that they will be wrecked upon arrival, which is nice. The others were just driving down in their own vehicle. So let’s get a roll call of the people that were mostly associated with the story, we have Bear, Izzy, Black, JK, MF, Stick, friend of Stick as well as yours truly.
Day 1: It is just Izzy and I checking into the hotel today as we were getting there a day early to “relax” a bit. We had brought our portion of the tailgate experience along with us, and the rest of the crew would be bringing along supplies as well. We get settled into our room and it is poolside, just open the sliding glass doors and there is the pool nice and convenient. We bring a 12 of Corona out to the pool with us for the afternoon as we plan on taking is easy. There is a decent quantity of people hanging on the pool, most of which are there for the concert as well. We strike up a conversation people and it turns out that they are a “Fan Club” from 90 or so miles from Buffalo. Beers are going down well at this point. We finish of the 12 pack in near record time as we are in the shallow end of the pool just talking with the others, it is a fairly warm day so pool and drinks are necessary. We figure that we will continue drinking a bit so we bring more of the beers out with us and continue to enjoy the poolside activities. Cannonballs into the pool, followed by shots and beers, singing along to music followed by more shots and beers. Throw in the occasional mixed drink and you have yourself one hell of an afternoon. I believe that the gauntlet has been laid down at this point; our day of relaxation has become a drinking marathon.
At this point several hours have past, the sun is going down. We’ve managed to consume all of the alcohol that we’d brought down for the weekend as well as some that was shared by our neighbors from 90 miles east. Good folk that “Fan Club” was… I hope to meet them at another show and drink with them again sometime. Frantic calls are made to the rest of the crew that is joining us the next day to “Bring more Booze, we’ve gone through all of our rations!” The questioned how much to bring, I recall saying something along the lines of we were out and just to bring a lot more. Alcohol goes down so much easier on a beautiful summer day. At this point, I should have realized that this was our “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”.
Out of booze, with darkness on the horizon the party moves indoors to the hotel bar. At this point in time, we are all hammered and probably should get to bed as we know the next day is going to be a long day of drinking. But, that would not be very fun now would it. The bartender seems to be happy about this as it was virtually empty prior to the 25 or so of us arriving. Drunken tips will be thrown her way, this should please her. We get more beers with the accompanying tequila chasers and put a good amount of money into the juke box. Izzy and I like to take over juke boxes when we go places, it helps avoid the awful Bon-Jovi and rap music women are prone to play. The funny part was that later in the night the bartender informs us that the box was already loaded with credits and we just added to it. The “fan Club, likes hanging out and drinking with us, we make plans to meet up the next day during the tailgate extravaganza for more drunken revelry. Izzy ends up hooking up with one of the daughters of the “Fan club”. I decide not to settle for any of the ladies there and call it a night about 3. We get back to the room and I feel like a child as I am jumping on the beds back and forth, from one to the other. Izzy decides to take a book into the bathroom and piss on it. We stumble across to some 24 hour gas station to get some late night eats and pass out.
Part 2 to follow soon…