Really... You can be white trash and a celebrity?

    I am sick of putting on the television and the radio and seeing talentless fucks being glorified and praised. I would love just to rip apart the whole hip-hop world as a whole because I cannot stand rap music and their lack of originality, but some may view that as some kind of racial attack. So since I am a white man, I am going to give my thoughts on white trash celebrities...in-particular Kid Rock. No one is offended by this unless you an inbred from West Virginia, some hillbilly from the south, an unemployed trash who refuses to work and abuses the public assistance systems, or someone who is a fan of terrible music.


    As I was on the way to pick up my son at his mother’s house after work last night, I was surfing the radio stations which I tend to do often here in Buffalo because our stations are terrible... I really need to subscribe to Sirius Satellite Radio again. Regardless, as I was going through the stations, the duet with Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock was on. Now Sheryl Crow is a fantastic singer, I am not a fan of her music but I cannot take away the fact that she has a good voice. Kid Rock trying to harmonize with her on this track is just a joke. The guy cannot carry a note to save his life. He has no vocal capabilities outside of rapping lyrics and screaming, what was Sheryl Crow thinking picking him to do a duet with? This got me thinking... How the fuck is this guy famous? And how are his new releases hits? He sings on them and he is fucking terrible at it... Why do the general population like these songs? Is it because the record executives force them down our throats convinced they are hits and forces mainstream stations to play them?

    In the late 90’s Robert James "Bob" Ritchie otherwise known as Kid Rock with his rock/rap style music that was more along the lines of The Beastie Boys versus the flavor of the month bands like Limp Bizkit. It was not a bad start... the album had a couple catchy songs like ‘Bawitdaba’ and ‘Cowboy’, I like these songs.. I am going to refer to him as ‘Bob’ since that is his given name and he no longer rocks... Bob does not have the greatest voice as far as singing and vocal rage. I would actually say that he sounds like some hack that you see doing karaoke on a weekend night in any city. I feel as if I am insulting karaoke singers nation wide by comparing Bob to them because some can actually sing well. But, to each their own, his voice worked or should I say it was masked when he was doing rock style songs like ‘Bawitdaba’ and ‘Cowboy’.

Bob in general just looks dirty, like he needs a shower with his long greasy looking hair. He started out looking like some kind of white trash pimp in the Bawitdaba video with the Fedora and cigars he was sporting. Then he epitomized the trailer trash look in the Cowboy video by wearing the “Wife Beater”. Going forward with the ‘American Badass’ video, he was still sporting similar white trash looks as in the previous two videos mentioned and he was still rocking and I am still OK with the music. I remember when he was dating Pan Anderson, he was doing some red carpet in a t-shirt just showing off his beer belly and doing some kind of belly dance with it, I guess that is fine when you have the generation’s bombshell blonde hanging on your arm. I mean, the guy always had women around him... even if they were only strippers. He was doing something right.

As line goes from the song ‘Cowboy’ goes "I ain't straight outta Compton, I'm straight out the trailer", this was the image he was portraying and it worked for him. Trailer trash is one thing, I can accept that. He could have just grown up a poor white kid in the trailer parks, but who would have ever guessed that he would eventually transform into southern redneck trash. The guy is from Detroit, MI for fuck sake but he now looks and acts like he would be flying the “Stars and Bars” (The Confederate Flag) off the back of a beat up pick up truck with a shotgun hanging in the rear window. Bob has somehow evoked the spirit of Lynyrd Skynyrd and the rest of the southern rock trash. I am not sure when and how this transformation took place. Maybe it started when he played the role in “Joe Dirt”, or is it just the evolution of trailer trash morphing into redneck white trash inevitable. Is there even a difference between the two in the grand scheme of things? I guess there is musically at least, because he went from really rocking to this terrible southern rock artist who thinks he can sing.

I understand music artists grow and their music changes, look at the total sell out the Goo Goo Dolls did. But, for the life of me, I cannot figure out why his new releases are hits anywhere outside of NASCAR country. I think I am laying this change at the feet of Sheryl Crow... This is your fault bitch. I am thinking that Bob may have got it in his head that after that duet, that he could actually sing because the song was a hit. Moving on, I hate the original version of “Sweet Home Alabama” and yet I find it in my heart to hate Bob’s rendition of it more, ‘All Summer Long’. That song in-particular just reeks redneck white trash to me... Sorry to those who like it, but I stand by my opinion that the song is fucking terrible. I do get where he was going with his rendition, trying to create a summer anthem, and it might be for the rednecks and white trash... but he cannot sing and the song just sucks. Bob, please stick to the rock rapping, at least those were descent songs! You are making my ears bleed with the singing...

I just wish Bob would go away... A best case scenario is where he would be dating America’s Sweetheart Lindsay Lohan, and tragically they both are taken from us in a horrific plane crash. On second thought, I do not hope that happens. That would make him some martyr and his music would be played more upon his passing, and he would be memorialized all over the television shows. I could not handle that. I really do not wish death on anyone, well most people (Casey Anthony not included)... it just sounds good for the story. I do hope that the public wakes up and realize that he is not talented singer and stops buying into his music.

I just do not get where someone like Bob is famous... is it his charisma? It sure is not his looks or voice. The one comfort I take out of seeing someone like Bob “Kid Rock” Ritchie being famous, is that it absolutely leaves the door open for an asshole like me to make it. I am a talentless asshole, it is not too far of a stretch from what Bob is... At least I do not look like a dirt-bag.