A job opportunity for locked-out NHL players...

Who says that I don't have a heart... I am offering a job opportunity to locked-out NHL players.

My "All Asshole" Fantasy Football Team

There are quite a few people in this country whose life revolves around football. These people should realize that it’s just a game and really not all that important in the grand scheme of things. The funny part is that football as we think of it is only relevant in the USA and is secondary to Futbol (soccer for the Neanderthals out there) in popularity between two sports with the same pronunciation worldwide. I always knew that the NFL was full of egotistical, self-centered assholes with a god complex, but as I started research for this piece, I began to feel as if I had bitten off more than I could chew with this project. There are more assholes than I had realized associated with this professional sports league. None the less, people will continue to worship the players of the NFL, a league that is marred with scumbags. Here are my selections of the biggest assholes that have been a part of the league, past and present. I tried to include a representative from every position. Feel free to leave comments and or assholes I may have missed or had to omit in the comment section below… I had to leave some assholes out; this blog would have become an epic novel had I included everyone!

Road rage exists for a reason...

It’s OK, you can admit it… There are times where you just want to scream obscenities at some fucking idiot while you are driving. It does not make you a bad person, it happens to all of us. There are plenty of things that can piss you off while driving, things like not using turn signals, tailgating, and dipshits merging into your lane without looking to see if another vehicle is there. Road rage came into existence for a reason, and that reason is, some people drive like assholes! For me, the driving experience at times can be as maddening as getting kicked in the balls, then going back for repeated shot to the nuts the next day, and again the day after that aaand the day after that, so on and so forth… It makes me wonder why I subject myself to such aggravation day in and day out. 

Welcome back, Asshole!

It's been awhile since I’ve written anything for the blog and since it is back to school season; it feels appropriate to catch up with all of you like the college coeds and fraternity douche bags, who are returning to campuses, talking about their summer transgressions and then promptly drinking themselves into comas and fucking random people in every frat house, sorority and bar. 

Just a little break...

I just wanted to give you all an update on the lack of posts lately… I have not stopped writing; I am just taking a little break to recharge the batteries of rage. I’ll have something written and posted in the next couple of weeks. Again, thanks for reading my nonsense!

Sincerely,

Your favorite asshole,

M.

Meteorologists are assholes

How would you feel about going to work, only being accurate in what you do a portion of the time and feel that you have job security? You’d feel pretty good about that scenario, right? So would I! Unfortunately, the majority of society does not have that luxury. Think about it this way, in baseball, if a player averages three for ten in his at bats across the length of a season, he is a .300 hitter. This is considered to be very good in baseball, but if you think about it, that is a 70% failure rate. Other than professional sports, where can you find a profession that allows you to be off the mark that many times and still be “good” at what you do? The answer is meteorology!

Ask an Asshole: Does anyone have the Maury Show's number?

Reading the "life and Advice" columns in the newspaper can often make me feel like the voice of reason. Sometimes the people that write in to these columns are completely clueless and need an assholes perspective to the world because they are completely oblivious. Other times, like today, I feel like I can give someone the words that they need to hear simply to reinforce what they are already thinking... I give you another 'Ask an Asshole!'