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Who says that I don't have a heart... I am offering a job opportunity to locked-out NHL players.
JOB TITLE
Seasonal
Gift Wrapper – Part Time
SUMMARY DESCRIPTION
The Manifesto: Inside
the mind of an Idiot is searching for a Seasonal Gift Wrapper.
Under general
supervision, provides quality wrapped Christmas gifts for my 3 year old son.
Duties include the wrapping
gifts, placing small gifts into a stocking and possibly comprehending and
purchasing items of a shopping list
PRIMARY DUTIES/RESPONSIBILITIES
1. Wraps gifts in an efficient
and non-wasteful manner.
2. Serves as primary “Elf”
for Santa (Dad, Me; A.K.A. An Asshole).
WORK EXPERIENCE
I realize many of you
have a lack of collegiate education because you feel as if your athletic skills
are will get you by in life, therefore a minimum of three years of NHL experience
is strongly preferred, or if you are out of your entry level deal.
SKILLS
· Interpersonal
skills necessary to effectively communicate with a variety of individuals,
including outside
vendors as I may send you to purchase gifts.
· Must
demonstrate understanding of what the average American worker deals with.
· Must
have the ability to appropriately handle scissors and the sharp edges that cut scotch
tape.
· Must
be able to prioritize work, meet deadlines and concentrate on detail in a
fast-paced
work environment.
EDUCATION/TRAINING
Elementary school
abilities which include the ability to use scissors, tape and can write the
words "Merry", "Christmas", “to”, “from” “Cole” and “Santa”
WORKING CONDITIONS
Normal gift wrapping
environment, with the exception of the lack of awful Christmas music. There is
the potential for a high volume of noise with an asshole like me venting at
various times. The ability to lift, carry and push weight up to 25 pounds, and
ability to walk stairwells is required. Frequent sitting, standing and walking
is also required. Typically will sit at a workstation sixty percent of the work
time.
Salary is $10/Hour
with no benefits… Just to let you see how many people live who are not as privileged
as you are.
TO REPLY
Please mail resume
and cover letter by December 20, 2012 to
M.
Twitter: @MKriegbaumJr
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