Asshole writes a Horoscope

Everyone wants to know what the future holds for them. If anyone tells you differently, they are either full of shit or were dropped on their head as a child. The name Nostradamus is synonymous with someone who had a knack of predicting the future several hundred years ago. Can it be done now? People are obsessed with predictions of the impending paths life has yet to follow. How do people find these forecasts of the future? Horoscopes! These horoscopes are vaguely written and could be manipulated to fit any daily situation if you truly buy into theses prognostications. Personally, I think these things are full of shit... and I feel like the majority of people realize that they are written for entertainment purposes only. But, there are some people who actually believe in them and if the horoscopes gets some of these people to get off their ass to do something positive or feel better about their future, I am all for it. I think that I am going to throw my hat into the ring, and attempt to write one of these horoscopes at the end of this piece... that should be interesting.

Ask an Asshole: Dear Abby - Teenager with her head up her ass

Rarely do I agree with ‘Dear Abby’ on anything, but with this article I am on the same page as her… well at least the same chapter. She actually gives a response that I agree with, but I feel that it is lacking substance and just not deliver the message that needs to be sent. She collected a paycheck for writing a three sentence response… which is a joke. Pay me to reply, I’ll give you honest reply in these columns that contains more substance! But, we all know national publications would never allow someone like me, who is politically incorrect respond to your precious readers’ questions. This is where an asshole has to step in and pick up where “Abigail” left off and lambaste this ill-informed 15 year old cunt who wrote in. Little girl wants advice… Little bitch will get advice. Here is another ‘Ask an Asshole’ column…

Bathroom Graffiti

Have you ever gone to take a piss at a bar (or any public restroom for that matter) and seen something written on the wall or stall that just makes you laugh? I know I have, and I would guarantee comedians have found hilarious material for their stand up routines in there as well. The bathroom graffiti spans all sorts of genres. It ranges from comedy, philosophy, "for a good time call..." phone numbers, random swearing, drawings, and declarations of love… You name it and it can be found on bathroom walls.

Ask an Asshole - Dear Abby: Name this husband

This might be the shortest blog entry I ever do... It is that simple minded.

Ask an Asshole - Miss Manners question gets a response from an asshole.

We can take the crosshairs off of Dear Abby for a moment right? I stumbled onto a column that is just screaming out that it needs the attention of an asshole. Miss Manners writes an advice column based on the subject of etiquette... You can say that I am her polar opposite. Should I be writing this column under a pen name such as Mr. Uncouth, Mr. Ill-mannered, Mr. uncivilized, Mr. Foulmouthed…? Today I’ll be fielding a question on etiquette (since this is a topic I am so versed on) and giving the response an asshole would give. Here is another column in the ‘Ask an Asshole’ series…

Priorities? Food truck legislation or regulating elderly drivers...

               There is so much public clamor for food truck legislation here in Buffalo, yet I feel that there is something that is far more pressing for the safety of the public and deserves some outcry as well… Shouldn’t there be retesting the Elderly drivers to retain their licenses.  For some reason there has been a rash of vehicles being driven into buildings lately in Western New York.  On Twitter, I see constant posts out of Buffalo about signing petitions for food truck legislation, and boycott “Brick and Mortar” restaurants that are opposed to food trucks. I also see jokes about elderly people hitting buildings… but in all reality, it is no laughing matter. Why is there no public outcry for anything to seriously be done about this elderly driver problem?

A reader from Albany reacts to my Jennifer Gish piece, followed by my response.

A comment to my Jennifer Gish piece, followed by my response. I could not fit my response to the reader from Albany in the comments section, so I made the response its own post... Here is the link to my original post on this topic for the new readers http://themanifestoinsidethemindofanidiot.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-come-to-defense-of-city-of-buffalo.html