I am not an asshole all of the time...

              

                I am not an asshole all of the time, I just wanted to shed light on this. Sure, maybe when I was younger I was more volatile, but now that I am grown, I’ve mellowed a bit. When I am with my son my outbursts are far and few between. I have a general sense of calm and happiness when I am with my son Cole.

                Now, Cole’s mother and I try to keep the best family atmosphere possible for his sake. Trust me, when I say that doing this for Cole is the most humbling experience of my life. We are divorced for a reason and at times it takes all of the strength I have in this world to keep my mouth closed and not say exactly what is on my mind. Yesterday we had taken our son down to the waterfront, things were actually good today we had gotten along and I did not feel the urge to place a piece of duct tape over her mouth… until we were driving home. I hate backseat drivers, and she is definitely one. The “you’re stopping too fast” that flew out of her mouth as we were exiting Downtown Buffalo sent me into a flashback of the nagging I had endured while in the bonds of holy matrimony.  I’m not sure what it is about driving that brings out the worst in people, whether it is the road rage inducers or the back seat drivers. Anyway, this piece was not written with the intention of bagging on my ex-wife. After we had gotten back to my apartment and the Ex had left, Cole and I had taken a walk down to a local playground. This is one of our favorite places to go because the look of happiness Cole gets at the playground just melts me… If you could only see the smile on his face when he is riding on the swings.

While we were at the playground, I noticed a guy in his mid to late teens, dressed in Pac-Sun motif pushing someone around in a wheelchair. The guy in the wheelchair was of a similar age, maybe slightly older, wearing similar garb. I couldn’t tell what exactly was wrong with the guy in the wheelchair, his legs had some sort of braces or stabilizers around his ankles and he was only moving his right arm, but there was no real coordination with the movement of that arm. I was wondering to myself if the person confined to the wheelchair had some sort of palsy, was paralyzed or if he was just as normal as the person pushing him and an accident of sorts had left him rendered to this condition. I felt bad for him, but had wondered if he was happy. I have seen at times when people have it bad; they seem to have a better appreciation for life because they just simply enjoy living.

As the person was pushing this wheelchair, he had stopped and received and read and or sent a text message. I would bet the text was from a friend asking what he was up to, if he wanted to meet up and come to a party, it's a holiday weekend everyone is going to some sort of party. But, I had hoped that he was happy to be here pushing this guy around in his chair. Now, my friends were all at the beach today, getting shit-faced, soaking up the sun and checking out the ladies…. I mean scenery. I would have loved to have been there as well, but I was in a far better place being with my loved one (my son). I wondered if this guy felt the same way. Maybe the guy in the wheelchair was a loved one, a brother, cousin or a close friend and I hoped that he was not here under protest because his mother had forced him to. Generally teenage boys would rather be with their friends rather than doing something with family. I was hoping that he was here with this guy in the wheelchair because he wanted to be, not due to an obligation.

               Sure, It was a picture perfect day here in Buffalo, and I know there was more entertaining things to do besides taking your son to a park or taking someone in a wheelchair for a walk. But, I will guarantee no matter how entertaining other events are, none of them are as rewarding as the ones that guy or I had been partaking. You know that the person in the wheelchair was just thrilled to get out and enjoy a walk in the weather and have someone spend time with him. As far as Cole goes, he loves me unconditionally, he is just happy to have his dad spending time and playing with him. Sometimes it is the simple things in life that are the most rewarding.

              Happy Fourth of July everyone! Just a few words of advice… Do not blow your fingers off doing stupid things with fireworks, fire up the grill, make some burgers and have a designated driver so you don’t get a DWI.  To the fathers out there… take time to be a dad, even of that means passing on some of the beach parties out there. And to the guy in Lackawanna, NY who was pushing that wheelchair yesterday (or if you are anyone who pushes a wheelchair because you want to) , if you happen to read this, I salute you…