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Twitter: @MKriegbaumJr

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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

A job opportunity for locked-out NHL players...



Who says that I don't have a heart... I am offering a job opportunity to locked-out NHL players.


JOB TITLE
Seasonal Gift Wrapper – Part Time

SUMMARY DESCRIPTION
The Manifesto: Inside the mind of an Idiot is searching for a Seasonal Gift Wrapper.
Under general supervision, provides quality wrapped Christmas gifts for my 3 year old son.

Duties include the wrapping gifts, placing small gifts into a stocking and possibly comprehending and purchasing items of a shopping list

PRIMARY DUTIES/RESPONSIBILITIES
1. Wraps gifts in an efficient and non-wasteful manner.
2. Serves as primary “Elf” for Santa (Dad, Me; A.K.A. An Asshole).

WORK EXPERIENCE
I realize many of you have a lack of collegiate education because you feel as if your athletic skills are will get you by in life, therefore a minimum of three years of NHL experience is strongly preferred, or if you are out of your entry level deal.

SKILLS
· Interpersonal skills necessary to effectively communicate with a variety of individuals,
including outside vendors as I may send you to purchase gifts.
· Must demonstrate understanding of what the average American worker deals with.
· Must have the ability to appropriately handle scissors and the sharp edges that cut scotch tape.
· Must be able to prioritize work, meet deadlines and concentrate on detail in a fast-paced
work environment.

EDUCATION/TRAINING
Elementary school abilities which include the ability to use scissors, tape and can write the words "Merry", "Christmas", “to”, “from” “Cole” and “Santa”

WORKING CONDITIONS
Normal gift wrapping environment, with the exception of the lack of awful Christmas music. There is the potential for a high volume of noise with an asshole like me venting at various times. The ability to lift, carry and push weight up to 25 pounds, and ability to walk stairwells is required. Frequent sitting, standing and walking is also required. Typically will sit at a workstation sixty percent of the work time.

Salary is $10/Hour with no benefits… Just to let you see how many people live who are not as privileged as you are.

TO REPLY
Please mail resume and cover letter by December 20, 2012 to

M.

Twitter: @MKriegbaumJr

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